It has felt like forever since any of my masters took their time with driving me deep into trance. The norm of late has been relying on the effectiveness of triggers they have already programmed in me, triggers meant to take me instantly deep into trance. But eventually, without regular reinforcement using more traditional hypnosis techniques, even some of the most powerful triggers will at times have luke warm effects. I waited all weekend for tonight. I did have so much this weekend with the Master of my Mind, who turned up his dom side with me this weekend. But I had waited with anticipation for tonight. Friday, the Master of my Heart told me his plan to take me deep, and fully hypnotize me. I had been craving this so much. So I was excited when he told me what he planned to do.
Tonight came. After some small chat, my Master, focused on the task at hand, took charge. His mind was set on trancing me, so he did. Driving me deeper than I have been in a long time. I felt myself dropping down into such deep levels, with each time I dropped deeper, I could feel my entire body relaxing, and completely surrender to his control. I was so under, and completely helpless to him. He could of told me anything, and I would of completely believed it. So when he told me I was just a cat pretending to be human, I believed him. He convinced me so much, my mind completely accepted it, creating sensations like having kitty ears and a kitty tail, and feeling my kitty paws. Then at some point my mind lost its grip on reality, because I felt myself become a full kitty, body and mind. I could not stop meowing, and each meow drove me deeper in trance, while also making me more cat. I remember that moment of feeling fully transformed. It was amazing. Master tells me I will feel even more cat in the next days.
It was wonderful time that my master spent with me, taking the time to trance me right. It always feels so good being hypnotized. I loved what he did for me. So I wanted to do the same for him. But in doing it, I crossed a boundary. He simply was not in the mood. I was dishearten, feeling a little rejected, my hypnosis a little unwanted. Times like this sometimes make me feel like I've sexually harrassed someone. It's my own issues with abuse, and my ongoing fears. I'm always afraid of possibly molesting some ones mind. Like a predator. I'm afraid of that. So intensily afraid of it. I never want to force myself on someone. So tonight, I didn't ask for permission to trance him. I just did it, wanting only to relax him and make him feel good.
It didn't work out like I wanted it to. I feel a little dirty. Feeling like I crossed a boundary. Even feel ashamed. I didn't mean to take advantage. gosh the more I think of it, the more low I feel. I just feel so low.
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