Thursday, January 31, 2013
Training Again
After the emotional rollercoaster of the past few days, I'm again needing Pet Training. Just finished listening to a file the Master of my Heart made for me. Already feeling the effects of his voice once again. When I listen to that file, I'm always reminded of why I surrendered to him to begin with. My Master sleeps at the moment but when he wakes, he will play with me again. In the mean time I must work and record a file for my own pets. I'm sure they are also missing my voice. I also am wanting to re-train myself for the Master of my Mind. The Master of my Mind plans to break and rebuild my mind a few times this weekend. I can't wait. The thought is already so arousing. Having my mind being deeply affected and controlled is such a turn on for me. The Master of my Mind is so very good at controlling me. His control is so powerful it leaves me with no choice. He needs only to snap his fingers. When he does, there is no escaping his grasp. But I'm fine with this. It's what I want. To have no choice, to be forced to submit, to be taken by his words. It's always a pleasure when the Master of my Mind ensnares me with his control.
The Master of My Heart is Back
I had planned to start this blog by telling you the tale of how my curiosity for hypnosis led me down the path of hypnotists, masters, slaves and pets. I intended that as a starting point of this blog.
Instead I've decided to start right where I am, knee deep in it all.
I've been troubled the past few days. My new master, who has only been apart of my life for slightly over one month and who has come to be so close to me, has acted distant the past few days. He was talking to me, but the usual warmth I had loved and had become used to was absent from his words and his voice. He is my second master. I suppose having just met him a little over a month must mean we're still getting to know eachother but still, something was wrong. This wasn't like him to be so cool and distant from me. In the short time knowing him, we had shared so much. So why now? Was it my fault? Am I to blame? I had the nagging fear that I was to blame. It was my fault. I am skilled in hypnosis enough, and sometimes my masters allow me to practice with those skills on them, allowing me the privilege of playing with their minds. Usually, when I do hypnotize my masters, I like to just quite simply give them the deepest pleasure that my words can give them. On occassion, I like to do more with them. Just days before my new master was acting differently, I had hypnotized him, putting him deep, and out of wanting to be playful with him, a little personality emerged from him. It seemed innocent at the time, but the very next day, my master was wanting to develop this new side of himself. Didn't bother me at first. Then he was becoming busy with this new side of his. It did kind of disturb me, a little. But it wouldn't have mattered had he not grown distant. But he did. He was distant with me. I began to really feel us growing apart but could't put my finger on why. It started taking it's tole on my emotions. Two nights before, tears came down my face as I was "talking" on the phone to him. But the tears were falling because he wasn't himself. Long moments of silence were all I kept hearing. I wanted so much for his comforting voice to talk to me on the line, calming me down. It wasn't there. I had started to blame myself. Hate myself. I was slowly starting to feel that the special relationship we had was dying. It felt like my master had stopped cherishing me. Like he'd lost interest. I kept thinking of those first wonderful days and feeling that spark between us. Something so new. We clicked right away from the moment we met. I was completely enchanted and smitten when I met the Master of my Heart. I never met anyone like him before. So my heart was breaking, thinking that the man I had grown to love so dearly, had for one thing, stopped loving me, then there was my fear that he was changing so much that the man my master was, maybe he was disappearing. I was distraught. Feeling helpless, with a growing sadness from feeling that I was losing him, I had already started to let go. Let go, I told myself. When I told myself that, the agony I felt was horrible. But I hadn't really verbalized these sentiments. I didn't act on them. I waited to see what lie ahead.
Then a miracle happened. My master, the man he used to be, the Master I remembered and loved, finally returned. He chose to hypnotize me first, before letting me feel he was back to normal. In the deepest trance I have ever been in my life, he reminded me of who he was. He was and is my Master, my owner, and I was and will always be his collared pet, and he still loved me, still wanted me, still cherished me. And as he reminded me of all of this, in the deepest trance I have ever been in, I broke down crying tears of relief and happiness. I had been so afraid I was losing him. And he was himself again. I just had to cry and cry. I just could not stop crying. The emotions I felt overwhelmed me so much I was sobbing. The Master I had loved had returned to me. He didn't leave me after all. My heart was crying because I was so happy that I could stop worrying. I hope I never ever feel that again. It would break my heart if I did.
Instead I've decided to start right where I am, knee deep in it all.
I've been troubled the past few days. My new master, who has only been apart of my life for slightly over one month and who has come to be so close to me, has acted distant the past few days. He was talking to me, but the usual warmth I had loved and had become used to was absent from his words and his voice. He is my second master. I suppose having just met him a little over a month must mean we're still getting to know eachother but still, something was wrong. This wasn't like him to be so cool and distant from me. In the short time knowing him, we had shared so much. So why now? Was it my fault? Am I to blame? I had the nagging fear that I was to blame. It was my fault. I am skilled in hypnosis enough, and sometimes my masters allow me to practice with those skills on them, allowing me the privilege of playing with their minds. Usually, when I do hypnotize my masters, I like to just quite simply give them the deepest pleasure that my words can give them. On occassion, I like to do more with them. Just days before my new master was acting differently, I had hypnotized him, putting him deep, and out of wanting to be playful with him, a little personality emerged from him. It seemed innocent at the time, but the very next day, my master was wanting to develop this new side of himself. Didn't bother me at first. Then he was becoming busy with this new side of his. It did kind of disturb me, a little. But it wouldn't have mattered had he not grown distant. But he did. He was distant with me. I began to really feel us growing apart but could't put my finger on why. It started taking it's tole on my emotions. Two nights before, tears came down my face as I was "talking" on the phone to him. But the tears were falling because he wasn't himself. Long moments of silence were all I kept hearing. I wanted so much for his comforting voice to talk to me on the line, calming me down. It wasn't there. I had started to blame myself. Hate myself. I was slowly starting to feel that the special relationship we had was dying. It felt like my master had stopped cherishing me. Like he'd lost interest. I kept thinking of those first wonderful days and feeling that spark between us. Something so new. We clicked right away from the moment we met. I was completely enchanted and smitten when I met the Master of my Heart. I never met anyone like him before. So my heart was breaking, thinking that the man I had grown to love so dearly, had for one thing, stopped loving me, then there was my fear that he was changing so much that the man my master was, maybe he was disappearing. I was distraught. Feeling helpless, with a growing sadness from feeling that I was losing him, I had already started to let go. Let go, I told myself. When I told myself that, the agony I felt was horrible. But I hadn't really verbalized these sentiments. I didn't act on them. I waited to see what lie ahead.
Then a miracle happened. My master, the man he used to be, the Master I remembered and loved, finally returned. He chose to hypnotize me first, before letting me feel he was back to normal. In the deepest trance I have ever been in my life, he reminded me of who he was. He was and is my Master, my owner, and I was and will always be his collared pet, and he still loved me, still wanted me, still cherished me. And as he reminded me of all of this, in the deepest trance I have ever been in, I broke down crying tears of relief and happiness. I had been so afraid I was losing him. And he was himself again. I just had to cry and cry. I just could not stop crying. The emotions I felt overwhelmed me so much I was sobbing. The Master I had loved had returned to me. He didn't leave me after all. My heart was crying because I was so happy that I could stop worrying. I hope I never ever feel that again. It would break my heart if I did.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Introductions
This blog is my journal and documentation of how I came to be a collared mistress. I'll be sharing my story and my journey into the world of Masters, Servants, Mistresses, and Pets.
I am Jennifer James, and I am the Collared Mistress.
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